July 26, 2005

Another reason to travel to Asia - cartoon condoms

Yes, those are yellow condoms growing on trees - and this is an actual image of a Japanese condom package. And i thought all the Anime porn was bizarre. Apparently condoms are advertised much like candy in Asia. Seriously... the "2" with the symbols by it in the lower left translates to "2 pieces".

Check this out, too:

I presume the toddlers on the packages are there as a reminder of what unprotected sex will result in... and not as models of sexually-active-condom users... right? RIGHT? That kid's smooth, though. Check out the shades and the jujjed hair. And she's practically blushing. Eeew.

Can someone please explain this to me?

July 22, 2005

Hey, don't bash clones... they're just (exactly) like you and me!

Because they are apparently lucky enough not to have, like, REAL problems to discuss, two theologans recently tackled the difficult, pressing issue of discrimination against human clones.

[shakes her head in disbelief]

Though one is socially liberal and the other is conservative, they have apparently tired of battling each other and have joined hands on behalf of clones every(err... no?)where. They believe that the simple debate about the morality of human cloning could have dire consequences for these "clones of the future" (assuming, of course, that "pro-cloners" win the ongoing dispute). How's that for pious defeatism, by the way?


Just to reiterate, according to one of these jackasses as quoted in the Washington Post, "Human clones, individuals created asexually from a person's cells and sharing that person's genetic identity, do not exist."

Thanks for that.

He does continue, saying that though they are just a figment of our science-fiction imaginations at present, they'll arrive in the flesh, so to speak, soon enough. And when they do, "they will be troubled to learn that people once spoke of them in opinion columns and elsewhere as 'subhuman'."

There's more...

"My concern is that by the time they're among us, we will have created a culture that so rejects their production it cannot help but reject them."

And by the way, he asks that we please do not refer to them as "science fair projects" or "machines".

And I agree. That might hurt their feelings. After all, they're just (exactly) like us. Also, please talk nice about honest politicians, ugly but actually talented female pop singers, the Tribe Called Quest's next album and self-slicing bricks of cheese (I swear they're coming... it's only a matter of time).

Thank you.

July 19, 2005

"BANG!" The mental picture alone kills me...

This is a REAL piece of British news, which ACTUALLY went out in the papers. No offense to our overseas brothers and sisters with bad oral hygiene, but this is a Bush-sized blunder, for sure.

The story goes like this:

Someone in the UK miscalculated the number of blanks the British army would need to train its Iraq-bound troops. When the "whoops" was discovered, everyone was troublingly out of solutions... until one particularly smart chap must have suggested that the soldiers just yell "BANG" when they'd otherwise shoot in a training exercise. Of course, this didn't go over well with the army, but apparently no one else really gives a shit. (Just picturing it now, with the accents and the bloody hell's and all caused me to stop typing for a moment and wipe my teary eyes after a fit of giggles. It's like something out of Austin Powers... here I go again!)

Check this out (and click the title link for the whole story, which I found on BoingBoing):

A senior British army officer said:

"There is nothing more dispiriting than soldiers having to go on exercise and shout 'bang, bang' because there is not enough blank ammunition. Any benefit from the exercise will be lost because soldiers just won't take it seriously. Why should soldiers who are being sent to Iraq, where their lives will be endangered, be forced to shout 'bang' in training because someone in the Ministry of defense can't do basic arithmetic? It's a disgrace."