May 17, 2007

Down slopes from here

At work yesterday, a colleague who is at least ten years older than me and is originally from an eastern European country (this will become relevant infomration in just a moment. Please hang in there.) bumped into me in the kitchenette conveniently located just across from my office.

We were making tea and chit-chatting when she realized it was my birthday.

(Perhaps the party hat, streamers and plate of cupcakes gave it away. Or the fact that I kept spontaneously yelling “GUESS WHAT? IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!” every 7.5 minutes. Or maybe it was the two – TWO – new wrinkles.)

“It eez your birthday?” she said, lighting up like Robin Williams on a bender. No, really, just like that exactly, only harder to understand. “Eenjoy eet!” she continued, “…Because you are steeeel fresh!”

“Fresh?” I was confused. “What am I, a dairy product?”

Clearly, we were having language barrier issues. Or perhaps I was a tad bit defensive about my steadily climbing age. Either way, I wasn’t backing down.

“I didn’t realize there was an expiration date,” I quipped. At which she burst unconsolably into laughter. Ten minutes later, she recovered, and as she left she threw back over her shoulder one final, confused, heavily-accented blow:

“Oh, to be young and beeeeautivul. Eeet eees all down slopes from heeere.”

Say it aint so.


allmypulp said...

So much Yakov Smirnoff being some capitalist parody of Russia.

After her saying something like that you should've responded with,"Then I suppose you're at the bottom?"

Then she probably would've replied,"You funny Americans!"

On a totally different note the word verification to post is "vjvag" There's a dirty joke there involving Kennedy from MTV there, but I just can't make it out.

Trebuchet said...

I heart word verification jokes. ESPECIALLY when they include the word "vag". Thank you for the chuckle, pulp. Mine sucks: it's "shfviglk".

So, yeah.

roeyourboat said...

My birthday was the 17th of May. May birthdays are the best birthdays. don't ask why, just believe me.