November 30, 2005

Fiona rocks, rugby fan freaks... RATS!

Sometimes when things like, say, work and life and bills and small paychecks get me feeling a little sadistic, I like to seek out stories of those more unfortunate than me, just for kicks. Such a scenario brought me to this story about a gentleman who was playing "hide the polska" with someone other than his wife, and was tattled on by a parrot who is clearly more intelligent than he. I imagine that was quite a blow... to the marraige, you perverts.

A completely unrelated story also currently posted on Ananova describes how some Russian men were eating a large bag of potato chips and discovered a whole dead rat at the bottom of the bag. Apparently the rat had been cooked and seasoned like a chip and had somehow made it into the package. Even with cooking and seasoning, I imagine the rat was still unappetizing enough to put them off chips for a while and onto another potato-based Russian staple: vodka. I say the rat may have done them a favor. Vodka beats chips any day.

Rats in food are no good -- and either I'm a magnet for rat-in-food stories or this happens more than we'd like to imagine. I have a colleague who swears she found clumps of rat hair in a Subway sandwich and has since refused to eat at the establishment. She actually bit in to the sandwich, chewed and swallowed before she noticed that there were what looked like clumps of brown rat hair baked into the bread.

And peanut butter, according to my junior high school biology teacher, is FULL of rat feces. This is really sad news for me, as PB is a staple in my diet. The long and short of the story is that peanuts are approximately the same size and shape as the doo of the rats that crawl around on, eat, and doo in, the piles of peanuts in the field before they're transported to the processing plant. So I guess the doo falls in the crusher/baker/blender along with the shelled nuts. No wonder it's so high in protein...

Gross. Subject change.

I saw Fiona Apple at the Moore Theatre last week. My seats were the worst in the house. No, really. I was up at the veeeerrrrry top --exactly 3 rows from the highest seat in the building. This was painful for me, as I had initially been under the impression that a friend of a friend of a friend was going to be able to get me in early and put me in one of the front rows. But although my seats nearly gave me vertigo (it really was scary way up there), the concert was flawless. That woman is just fantastic, even if she is a little eccentric. You absolutely MUST download/buy Extraordinary Machine. Listen it to three times in a row, suspending judgement until the third. You will love it if you have any taste in music at all. If you don't, you should probably pull a Van Gough because you're worthless. Click below for a sampler:

I have never understood crazy, violent rugby or soccer fans. This is just another (painful, unbelievable) example of why.


auntiegrav said...

Rat (mouse) story. Really a true story. I was in the Navy, on a BIG boat, we used to get big pallet loads of Coke to drink. One day, one of my coworkers came in from a hot time on the 'ole flight deck, grabbed a coke from the fridge, popped the top, and chugged. Something plopped into his mouth. He spit it out in a coffee cup, and lo and behold, our little friend Mickey had given his life in the service of our country. So, 'Bat' (really his nickname), being of stoic person and body, carried his newly acquired (dead) pet to the ship's store to exchange for a new coke. He made it ALMOST all the way there before spewing the rest of the coke all over Officer Country. (I don't know if he got his money or not..)

auntiegrav said...

Apologies. I apparently missed that you were a vegetarian.
Thought the stories were funny anyway. Hope you did.


Trebuchet said...

Ummm, I may choose not to eat meat, but funny's funny. I'm not crazy or sensitive, so you're safe.

Bat? Really? God, the irony... I love it.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

I have tickets for December 8th in PA to see Fiona - I was wondering if at the concert you went to - she sang any other songs besides the one on Extraordinary Machine. I agree with you on that album and her others, she is wonderful.

Trebuchet said...

Hey Laurie -- She sang mostly Extraordinary Machine songs, but did a few of the oldies but goodies -- Fast As You Can, for example. She sang Criminal as an encore but it was the weakest song of the night -- she clearly didn't enjoy it as much as the others, calling it "junk food'. She spent about 40 percent of the night behind the piano and the rest spotlit in fromt of a mic. I liked seeing her both ways. I hope your seats are closer than mine... you'll have to tell me what you think.

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

omgigod. I liked best when she was up and moving around. I had stage floor tickets and was pretty close. It was awesome. She did songs from all 3 albums which I loved. I didn't think any of them were weak or that she wasn't into them, but I know what you mean in that some she just nails so well and is just so awesome live. I love her!!!

Anonymous said...