November 21, 2005

Maternal Instinct Schmaternal Schminst... well, you get it.

So today I was clicking around on Myspace through my friends' friends for absolutely no good reason when I stumbled across a girl who looked like this girl I went to elementary school with who used to always pick her nose and wipe it on the bottoms of classroom chairs, but who was also really, really good at finger painting. No joke. Anyway, I clicked on the girl's profile and went right to her profile pictures to see if she was who I thought she was. Well, she wasn't. But what I discovered while nosing around was much, much more interesting than if she had been who I thought she was.

What I'm referring to is this:

Yep, it's a closeup of 3 little porcupines lined up in the palm of her hand.

And if you're currently saying things like : "oooh! cute!!" or "I WANT one!!!" or something similarly affectionate, you are the very reason I'm writing this post, convinced I'm predisposed to be a bad mother.

You see, all the comments under this photo were about the "cutesy wittle babie-wabies" and other cheesy shit like that. Meanwhile, I've recoiled from the computer screen in honest-to-God horror.

All I can of while looking at this photo is how much these horrific God-awful little things look like three totally dangerous spiny anuses all lined up giving birth to tiny hairless aliens. Seriously. I find them scary and basically fucking disgusting.

Do you think that means there's something wrong with me? Or that, because I'd rather step on these little guys than bottle-feed and name them, I lack maternal instincts? Why don't I find these nasty little critters adorable, or even walking the fine but definite "ugly but cute" line? Why is it that those three helpless babies are haunting me as I type this, preparing to give me spiny-asshole horror-flick nightmares? I'm a generally nurturing person... and I love animals and am a vegetarian (which I obviously just mentioned for bonus points, because now I'm worried you all think I'm a porcupine killer).



Bryan said...

"d rather step on these little guys than bottle-feed and name them, I lack maternal instincts?"

I serously doubt that thinking pringly dangeruos creaters as "cute" is parrt of the normal instinct.

Ixtab said...

I think they are hedgehogs.

I think they're cute, but I also think that corrupting young children is fun, so go figure.

Bryan said...

"corrupting young children" I actually did that today:D

Trebuchet said...

Whoa, Bryan! sounds like there's a story there...

Ixtab, your post was great. Glad you found me and vice versa!

Bryan said...

ya it was kinda interesting. I only get the chance every once in awhile.

auntiegrav said...

Net Creativity. If you think the world would be more creative (or humanity), without schmarmy shit like that, then you get it. Life, like farming, is sometimes about killing things we think should be killed and cleaning up afterwards. (he says with his hand inside the truly initial part of a chicken dinner...)