Hey groundhog! How about a nice warm cup of shut the hell up?
Hey! Guess what? It's been raining for ever in Seattle. Now normally I like the rain, but I've been in a bit of a slump lately. I could use the pickup of a little sunlight these days... and instead I've got mushy, soggy, gray, drizzly, drippy, sniffly, puddly rain. MAJOR buzzkill.
In fact, according to the Seattle P-I article posted 8 hours ago and linked above, the only creatures in the Northwest feeling positive enough to copulate are amphibious. That's right. Webby feet. Warty skin. Cold blood.
"To like the weather over the past month and a half, some might say, you'd have to be a toad. Not true. You could also be a frog, salamander or other amphibian, judging by the way the critters have been breeding, wildlife experts say."
And I guess there were only 2 non-rainy days in January. TWO. Days without RAIN. Do you have any idea how old that gets, and how fast?
OLD.
FAST.
I love Seattle. I really do. I love the fish markets and the ferries and the ocean views and the mountains and the green and the people and the safeness and the music and art and food and culture... But I could use ONE sunny day. Just one. ONE.
I bet even the ducks and the slugs and the newts would appreciate it.
Oh, and FUCK the groundhog. I hate rodents. I'd rather jab scissors into my quads and twist than take advice or prophecy from one. Just being honest.
3 comments:
"I hate rodents. I'd rather jab scissors into my quads and twist than take advice or prophecy from one."
Hilarious, that. Although I kind of like the little critters myself. Personally, I don't know what I'd do without the Reality TV Chinchilla to tell me who's making it through to the final 24 on American Idol.
Sympathizing with you on the rain situation. We've had nothing but snow for three months now, but at least you can do stuff with it, like build igloos and stuff it down people's pants.
Auntie - your dog and I would get along famously. While I dislike rodents, I dislike killing stuff more. I could never do the killing part when it came time to butcher chickens growing up. Shit, I can't even squish a spider or spray a cockroach. I appoint other people in my life to do that dirty work... or I put a glass upside down over it and hope it dissapears.
Ixtab - Spot on with the snow thing. I know it gets old, I've heard that a million times, but every once in a while when we're going on our 33rd day of rain around here, I squeeze my eyes real tight and just think **FREEZE**. Anything *over* and *over* and *over* can make you a tiny bit homocidal. It's the "It's A Small World" effect.
Underhill -- In order to keep Vegas from becoming a sandy sinkhole, you're going to need more than a few inches, I hear. Isn't the elevation of Vegas slowly dropping because you're using all the water or something? Oh, maybe I read that in the Onion. Sometimes I confuse fact with fiction. But either way, I'll see what I can do. I know people.
I am sooo glad that I didn't move to Seattle this summer.
I was within a hare's breath of being in the midst of this rain-fest with y'all.
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