February 09, 2006

Hotmail can go to hell.

**UPDATE: I heard from Hotmail today (a week after the second mis-fired form email from them). A nice man named "Anthony" promises to help me restore control of my account. We'll see...**

I'm sorry in advance for this tyrade. I can't stand boo-hoo blogfests, but I have to say that if I don't vent here, it is highly likely my head will explode. I have threatened this before, but the pounding in my left temple indicates that this time it really might happen. And that would be messy. So venting I am doing.

Sometime last week, I attempted to log in to my hotmail email account. I keep this archaic account around even though I prefer gmail because all my stone-age friends refuse to email me at the newer gmail account, preventing me from totally transitioning. Combined with the aol email address, I'm now totally scattered, totally inefficient, and totally reachable on every IM service ever invented, which is bad and has caused me to be "invisible" most of the time on said services in the interest of actually getting work done during the day.

Already I digress...

My hotmail password is suddenly not working. This means I can't log in to my account. I haven't recently changed any passwords, making my inability to access my own hotmail account all the more curious. Now I'm thinking the cause could only be one of three things: hackage, stalkage, or revenge-age. Here is why:

1. Hackage: pretty simple. Email records hold tons of valuable information. Get into my inbox and you've got an open key to my life. Steal my identity! (I'm a good girl, which pisses off my inner rebel, but makes my identity a hot commoddity. Good credit. No crime.) Come to my house! (My address is all over my inbox/outbox. Want a computer? I never lock my doors. Car? Again... keys will be sitting on the driver's seat. I have a nice bed, too. I even have one of those awesome heating mattress pads. Delightful. My bed is a snuggle haven of wonderfullness.)

2. Stalkage: I'm awesome, interesting, and oblivious. Seems pretty clear to me why someone might want to stalk me. I'm imminently stalkable. I wouldn't even mind that much, as long as we could BOTH read my emails.

3. Revenge-age: I have no known enemies, and work hard to be able to say that. I do know there are a few people who know my passwords to everything, and I may or may not used to seriously date one of them. I'm not making any implications, but it's a possibility.

Anyway, I went to the Hotmail help page, and lo and behold: no contact info for help people. You have to submit a standard "I have problem a), b), c) or other)" message. So I did. And 24 hours later they sent me a standard response, which outlined things I'd already tried to recover my email access. So I wrote them back. "No," I said, "that did not help me. I need REAL help." And 8 hours later, they sent me another standard response, which outlined the same things I'd already tried. Then, they asked me to fill out a survey about whether or not they helped me. "No," I emphatically typed, "you have not helped me, yet again. I need REAL, non-standard help. PLEASE.". And guess what I got again today? Fucking standard response. I almost beat the computer with my shoe, only they're very very cute shoes. So I held back. But that made my head hurt. And here I am. And I still don't have access to my hotmail account, which is a bigger deal than it seems like it should be, for reasons too specific to get in to here. Stalker, hacker or enemy, if you're reading this: please, for the love of God, change my password back to you-know-what so I can get my mail. PLEASE.

Fucking Hotmail. Now everytime I log on to MSN, that little butterfly logo mocks me. Fucking goddamn Hotmail. Go to hell.


emynd said...

Sorry. It was me. I changed your password to "hotmale." My bad.


Trebuchet said...

haha! Nice to see you again, e. and very funny. you'll fit right in.

Mister Underhill said...

You need to use gmail. Also, if ANYONE for ANY reason says you have been abusing your account, hotmail will delete you.

Now you can do chat right in the browser in gmail, too. It is the coolest thing evar.