Recipe for a very short post on a Saturday morning

1 St. Patties Day pub crawl on Friday night. Must include the following:

2 Slooper-size green beers at the Sloop Tavern (36 oz. each)
1 hard cider
1 slice of Irish bundt cake (very, very delicious)
2 Irish Car Bombs, mixed and consumed in under 3 minutes total
25 exhausting minutes of dancing at tiny bar with live band and uncoordinated friend
13 companions with whom to do Irish chanting and jigging while traveling between bars(in heels)
1 friend, dressed in a bright green suit, a striped green tie and a clover lapel pin
A run-in with a planter box (falling over or sitting in one, either works fine)
1 large, green, felt beer-stein hat, to be passed around like a skanky friend

All this should take about 7 or 8 hours. You'll know it's done when you can no longer speak intelligably or walk straight, and/or it's closing time. Preferably all of the above, really. Also, it's important to do this in a town totally vacant of taxi cabs, so you can spend approximately 4 years wandering the streets looking for a ride before someone driving by recognizes you, pulls over, takes pity, and drives you home, where you will inevitably cook a very large meal for whoever else has decided to crash on your couch/floor.

Pass out, have bizarre dreams about hot dogs and cockroaches, and then wake up with only a vague recollection of all of the above. Wake friends up and inquire about the previous night's activities as needed to fill in details. Check calls made and recieved on cell phone for further information. Text messages will also serve you well, here.

Eat one girl scout cookie and a tall glass of milk for breakfast. Think about showering, but decide against it. Lay around.

Wonder where your car is.