Links upside your head

Sorry for so much potty humor lately, but I stumbled across this site, and HAD to share, as it actually calculates the amount of money your company pays you per year to do your... ahem... number twos during business hours. Click and calculate.

And, as long as we're on the subject, the best story I've ever read about number two. Don't worry, it's not graphic, just funny, sooo funny. Click here to read it.

Alright, enough of that. But there can never be too much of this (by which, of course, I mean a boy breaking up with a girl in public, on video, on Valentine's day (which happens also to be her birthday) with the help of a group of vocalists singing their rendition of "I'm not ready to make nice", by the Dixie Chicks. The link is to an Op Ed piece about it, but I can assure you that the moment I find the video on YouTube it will be up here, too. Unless you guys get to it first, in which case please just email my lazy ass the damn link, will you?

[UPDATE: Link is alive and well in the comments section, thanks to a helpful reader. Enjoy!]

Oh, and by the way, James Brown, dead since Christmas, still isn't buried, even though close to three million other people in the world have died between then and now, and they've all made it into the ground. Anna Nicole and Daniel Smith are still above ground, too.

It's like dying but remaining in a creepy unburied but embalmbed state (this is very similar to undead, I think) is Hollywood's new Scientology. According to my friend Z, this trend combined with the fact that 1) Britney Spears can procreate, 2) the war in Iraq is still raging 3) our country is writing checks to anyone who will take our money 4) unbelievably high home prices will likely keep a whole generation of 20-somethings in apartments until they're senile and 5) the toll MySpace is taking on American productivity all point to a near-term implosion of America (and, therefore, the world).

Z may be over-caffeinated, but he also may be right.

I, for one, am buying lots of canned goods and batteries.