January 22, 2007

This is why I love my friends. And instant messaging.

np: so what's the word?
Tre: i love "grody". i have been using it all day. Also, I am starving. So hungry it hurts.
np: Me too. I am too hungry to eat. this may be the big one.
Tre: the big one?
np: yes. the big sleep.
Tre: ooooh. the dirtnap. groovy.
np: what happens when you don't have energy enough to eat from not eating?
Tre: You die.
np: holy shit! am I dying? is this really *it*?
Tre: nah, i don't think you die so much as you break through the space-time continuum, on your way to death.
np: then i'm at the corner of 1st and 1st. the motherfucking nexus.
Tre: yes. and once you break through, FYI, on the "other side", you have a strange sexual experience wtih rick schroeder.
np: ...which becomes my sustenance.
Tre: precisely.
np: and I am forced to be gay to survive.
Tre: which, obviously, you do, as you are no quitter and your will to live is way strong. like your pimp hand.
np: if I have to blow a silver spoon to keep breathing, i'm gonna be the black jenna jameson in this bitch.
Tre: get free or die blowing. too bad we're geniuses.
np: too bad I'll avoid all of this by eating this banana. (no homo)
Tre: grody.
np: or maybe this *is* rick schroeder in my hand right now...
Tre: likely.
np: this is more of an asian penis, obviously.
Tre: perhaps you've just convinced yourself it's a banana to avoid the psychological torment that comes with devouring a human, asian, rick schroeder penis.
np: chopstick, silver spoon, I don't care. you do what you have to do. this may be the best banana ever.
Tre: stop it.
np: it's delicious. is this what penis tastes like?
Tre: ...
np: actually, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
Tre: too late.
np: didn't hear you.
np: I'm safe. still hetero.
Tre: not with that junk in your mouth, you're not.
np: all that's left is junk remnants.
Tre: even worse. a reminder of a tryst you're still trying to deny.
np: it was ill advised, but still tastes so sweet.
Tre: you're saved.
Tre: we've got it all figured out, man.
np: we really do.


Chuckles said...

I eat bananas but I don't like them.

Trebuchet said...

I like them but don't eat them. The texture weirds me out.