January 31, 2006

"S" words: synonyms, sex, slaying, Superbowl & slow jam.

Word of the day: callibogus. Apparently it is synonymous with "alcohol".

So I recently had a conversation with a friend about the word "slay". I'm a fan of using it as a substitution for the word "kill" in the following contexts:

"Oh, man! Ron Burgundy KILLS me!!" or "Watching pair figure skaters drop their partners in those cheesy sparkly spandexy costumes totally KILLS me!" etc.

I had just said something like "You SLAY me!" in response to some comedic moment, which then led to the discussion of why "slay" is such a good word. There are the obvious reasons (it's not a funny word when used appropriately, which means that when you use it ironically, it's funny), and then there is my friend's reason:

Him: "I dunno... I just like it. It's romantic, or something. It makes me think of dragons, and... and, like, hot knight sex!"

I spent easily the next 5 minutes laughing hysterically, with visions of two dim-witted armored men clanking against each other, trying to figure out just how to accomplish the sex act in the cumbersome and impenetrable outerwear. The details are the best part of this visual: their little face plates clanking down over their eyes at inopportune and frustrating times, their huge, heavy arms and boots, the inflexibility... it was priceless.

The next day, I shared this story with another friend, who had the same reaction, and proceeded to blog about his little mental picture. i thought I'd share his version with you, too.

I guess he should have said "hot knight-and-damsel sex", if that's what he meant, huh? (Not that there's anything wrong with hot knight sex...)


I just watched "Lord of War" - a non-preachy but thinly veiled statement film about the illegal international weapons trafficking (particularly in the poorest regions: Libya, Sierra Leon, etc.). The premise is provocative, much of the film leans heavily on historical events, and they actually worked with arms dealers in the making of the movie. Apparently it was cheaper to use real illegal AK-47's in scenes than to build out thousands of prop versions. Which is scary, and cool.

Though I'm generally tempted not to like Nicholas Cage for a variety of reasons including but not limited to the fact that his face depresses me and he sometimes seems to mistake "subtle" for "sleeping", I am generally reluctantly impressed by him. I even own and love "Adaptation" and found him quite brilliant in it. And "Lord of War" also proved to be his own little stage, though he was supported by a decent cast, including Jared Leto (plays his cokehead brother... weird, huh?) and Eamonn Walker as a perfect Andre Baptiste. Ethan Hawke (the token FBI guy) was a stretch, but he was really just there to deliver some statistics and monologue every once in a while about all the death the arms trade causes, so he's as forgivable as he is forgettable in the flick.

It was remarkably intelligent without being over-politicized. And Cage played his role with depth and coolness, yet again proving me shallow and wrong about him. And he delivered some dark but very funny lines like a champ. Asshole. Look, it's not 5-star, but it's good. See it.

I'm throwing a Superbowl party, it appears. And the face paint will be in full effect. But this time my roommate has come up with a few new elements. His tentative concept is to hand out T-shirts and sharpies at the door, on the back of which everyone must ink a number (for the halftime parking lot game - to make the commentators jobs easier) and on the front of which everyone must write something incorporating one of the following three words: "Score", "Sack", or "Waterboy". My contribution to the party will be the food, the wit, and a keg of ice-cold libation.

Our cranky neighbor is going to blow a gasket.

Current soundtrack:

"Raindrops" -- Ben Folds Five
"Amber" -- 311
"Nothing Even Matters" -- D'Angelo feat. Lauryn Hill
"Lonliest Girl in the World" -- Cary Brothers
"Heaven" -- D'Angelo feat. Erykah Badu

(it's rainy. we're doing the cool slow jams thing today.)


auntiegrav said...

I'm growing to like Nick Cage, the boy loves National Treasure, and Nick is almost animated in it.
Words I like: "taught" (As in 'tight';said with a whispering sincerity, like, "She's t'aught.")
"throttle" (As in, "I'm going to THROTTLE that guy!")
Superbowl: (add up all the salaries and compare to the cost to rebuild the levees in New Orleans or the cost of health insurance for all the children in Seattle, let me know what you come up with. I'd rather watch the Border Collie herd the cat around the house. It's more surprising than 4 hours of grown men trying to play grabass. For the money they make, they should all have guns, and the quarterback should have an UZI. See the beginning of "The Last Boy Scout")
Yeah, I'm a party pooper. So slay me.
New addiction: answers.yahoo.com

Trebuchet said...

I love your brutal consciousness. (Yes, they're overpaid. Grossly.) Thank you for having something actually valuable to say on this site which is otherwise totally void of content or conscience. Your party-pooperhood is safe here.

Interesting thought, though, turning football into a blood sport. Right in line with the "slaying" theme. Also, your second weapons reference in two consecutive post comments. Slightly terrifying? Maybe, but I'm interested to see how this plays out, anyway. :)

Taught: very "surfer-esque". What about "rigid"? "This song is so rigid!" or "Wouldn't it be rigid if we could just sit home and eat Cheeze Nips all day?"

auntiegrav said...

I think staying home eating Cheeze Nips would be more of a flaccid thing than rigid. (by the way, it should be ridgid, unless you are talking about the tool brand, Rigid).
Weapons references: I have some experience, yes. I met a lot of interesting people both in the military and out, repaired and tested some things, but there is not much (legitimate) life in it once you aren't attached to the Rich Uncle (Sam) by service or contract anymore.
I'm more of a creative machine person than a destructive machine person (not counting plowing), but I have always been very impressed with the precision and technology involved in weapons. Especially the kind that get bolted to airplanes.
There are really two things that equalize people who would physically be unequal: weapons and education. I have enough of both to be mostly dangerous to myself.
"Are you the doctor?"
"I am today!"
Funny, "taught" came from a friend who grew up on the LEast Coast, generally about as numb as a surfer. "That guy just don't know shit normal people should know, does he?"

Trebuchet said...

Yes, flaccid. Good point. But FYI, rigid is, in fact, the correct spelling.

Spelling champ circa 1989 -- but of course, we were spelling stuff like "energy" and "slope" then, not "rigid" or "amalgamation", so...).

auntiegrav said...

I stand corrected. Spelling champ 1969. 3rd grade. But it was a small class in a small school. I had it exactly backward. (well, actually, there are Rigid and Ridgid companies) duh.

I hope you are not "incensed".....

"I do not think that word means what you think it means." -The Princess Bride